There and back again: My spiritual journey these past ten years, part V

We ended up attending the two LCMS churches in our town for about two years. We even went through a catechism class at one point, but my wife wasn’t ready to join. Then we moved to Rome, Georgia. I immediately sought out the LCMS congregation in town. It is smaller, which is to be expected as Lutheranism isn’t exactly common in northwest Georgia. Georgia and the city of Rome are Baptist territory and most churches are much more like the churches my wife and I grew up in. But the people in Rome’s LCMS congregation were very friendly and it seemed to be a fairly traditional Lutheran church.

As in the past with Catholicism and Orthodoxy, my wife was never completely sold on Lutheranism. She did seem to relate to it much more than Catholicism or Orthodoxy. And by this time she shared some of my own misgivings about much of American Evangelicalism, especially pop psychology sermons and blatant, entertainment style worship. But all in all, she never seemed to want to leave American Evangelicalism. Rather, she just wanted to find a decent Evangelical church minus some of the most egregious problems of Evangelicalism as a whole. When we moved to Rome, Georgia she put her foot down again.

So what was I to do at this point? Theologically and spiritually I had checked out of American Evangelicalism years ago. I can’t ever imagine going back in that sense. I had come to the point in which I automatically evaluated a church based on its theology and its denominational affiliation. I didn’t mind visiting a Baptist, Methodist, or Presbyterian church. But in visiting such a church I saw myself as just passing through and couldn’t remotely conceive of attending one on a regular basis, much less joining one. Basically, if a church held to a Baptist, Zwinglian, or Calvinistic understanding of the sacraments, it was do not pass go, do not collect $200 for me.

On the other hand, I had attempted to convince my wife to leave American Evangelicalism for something like eight years. If I hadn’t convinced her in eight years or more of trying, I probably wouldn’t ever do so. We were also both just worn out over this issue. And life is just too short to discuss and disagree about this forever. I mentioned the idea that we should just consider going to separate churches, but she wouldn’t have it. In retrospect, considering the fact that we hope God will bless us with children in the future, I think she is right about this. The whole issue was causing strain in our marriage. I saw and still see causing undue stress and especially breaking a marriage over this as perverse. My wife has been really patient about my journey. It really pained me that this caused her distress. I love her deeply, even more so than when we married. I can’t imagine life without her. I would be worse off in every way, including spiritually without her.

So after prayer and discussion we finally came to an arrangement. We ended up regularly attending and eventually joining a Baptist church in Rome. But we didn’t just join any old Baptist church. We joined a Reformed Baptist church. Now I still don’t agree with the Reformed and have found on a first hand basis that many Lutheran critiques of the Reformed are spot on. But I’ve come to admire some aspects of Reformed theology and think they make some valid observations of their own, even if they are badly wrong on some issues. More importantly, this church teaches and proclaims the Gospel much more clearly than your average revivalistic Arminian Southern Baptist church. In addition, it is very committed to missions and to helping the poor and downcast in the community. As a whole, the people in the church are also very loving. The worship is “contemporary,” which is inherently problematic for me, not to mention a bit boring. But the worship isn’t as extremely contemporary as one finds in many churches. It isn’t a perfect church. But it could be much worse. And while we joined a Baptist church together, my wife and I do on occasion attend the local LCMS congregation, which is a real blessing to me. Theologically, I still very much consider myself a Lutheran.

I should also add that my politics have changed somewhat in the last ten years as well. I would still consider myself a conservative, though I do have a libertarian streak. At times I haven’t used the term “conservative” to describe myself because of what much of what conservatism has become. I don’t entirely identify myself with the Republican party and am completely disgusted with the actions of Congressional Republicans and president Bush between 2001-2007, especially with respect to the Iraq war and spending. I’ve come to read conservative thinkers such as Burke and Kirk over the years. For lack of a better description, I’m a social conservative who is closer to the paleoconservative movement these days than any other. I particularly disagree with the neoconservatives who got us into Iraq and the “country club” Republicans who look down on social conservatives and seem more interested in what benefits big corporations and their bottom line than anything else. But my politics flows out of my faith. And as interesting and important as politics can be, I see faith and culture as much more important than politics.

Ironically, while I checked out of American Evangelicalism years ago, I never officially became Catholic, Orthodox, or most importantly for me at this point, Lutheran. Technically, I’ve been a member of a Southern Baptist church all my life. So my journey has sort of been one of there and back again. Looking back, I did some stupid things these past ten years. I suffered from some of things that afflict many “converts” of all stripes who are desperately trying to leave one Christian tradition for another. This included rationalizing doctrines and practices, impatience, pride, and at times a know it all attitude. I’ve struggled with my fair share of sins and continue to do so. But I was trying to follow God as best I could and balance new convictions, competing doctrinal claims, and my marriage, which wasn’t always easy. I think I have learned quite a bit these past ten years. I hope I am the better for it. My situation isn’t perfect. But I’m blessed in more ways that I can count.

I’m happy to call all Christians, Protestant, Catholic, and Orthodox who place their faith in the Incarnate, crucified, and resurrected son of God for their salvation as brothers and sisters in Christ. The church today, including American Evangelicalism, suffers from some pretty bad problems. But we live in a fallen world and it has always been so. What can we do? Repent of our sins. Teach and proclaim Christ to all, help the poor, the sick, the orphans, and those in need. Love our neighbors as ourselves. Love our families and encourage our family members to seek Christ. Pursue justice and peace. Rejoice in the many blessings God has given us. Delight in the Lord. Trust God in our times of need. Bloom where you are planted. Find a place in the church, imperfect as it is, where you can worship, be fed, serve, and live in community. Serve Christ and you neighbor within your vocation.

Finally reader, if you haven’t grown weary of my long story by now, I’ll leave you with one last thing. As much as we have to “do” ultimately Christianity isn’t about what we do, it is about we what Christ has done and will do for us in the fullness of time. So above all else, cling to faith in Christ.